Football Seasonal Fruits

Seeing as how both Florida and Florida State are hobbing serious knob this season, I can't possibly make any "Gay-tor" jokes (something that usually ends up with me receiving a piledriver from Jose). What's going down tomorrow along the lines of the "I'm not going to the FL/GA game so let's get trashed and pretend like the cops will never realize I had a few too many" parties? If something is going down, I'll gladly make a guest appearance so I can show off my German girlfriend. She was supposed to pose nude on Walroosbrüste.com, but the site was shut down because the bitter Walrustitties people didn't want to have the affiliation simply due to the literal translation (and the fact that the German site was much better).

This One's for Juan and Ed

A movie quote that has been quoted many a time by those two. Enjoy fellas.

My Parting Gift to Juan

I got some big six-shooters

Packed up on my steed

And don't take 'em off

Unless I got some flesh to feed

Intimidation to the max

Is what'll do it to me

I'll rip it right and rip it left

Just to make your heart bleed

Layin' down in the dirt

A big bottle of wine

Rather listen to some blues

Or love a woman 'til she's blind

Got a lot of time to waste

On shining my big guns

When I ride into your town

You and your sister want some fun

I'm looking for a Juliet to take my cowboy blues away

The ten blue broken hearts behind me they're not mine

I'm a gunfighter looking for love

Gunfighter for love

Gunfighter for love

Gunfighter for love

I'm a six foot all-American kid

My serial number's one nine seven six

Born down south where barbed wire plays

Where my parents met is in the U.S. of A.

Legendary, gunfighter

Buckshot, point-blank

Fast aim, six-shooter

Trail blazer, gunslinger

Pistol packin', rough rider

Wanted man, coach robber

Shot drinkin' cowboy

Gunfighter for love

I got some big six-shooters

Packed upon my steed

And I only take 'em off

Unless I got some flesh to feed

Intimidation to the max

Is what'll do it to me

I'll rip it right, rip it left

Just to make your heart bleed

Lyrics to "Gunfighter for Love" by Jason McMaster of Dangerous Toys

Fully Operational Battlestation

"You've got to line 'em up; Then you knock them down; Take a look boy..."
-- Jason McMaster of Dangerous Toys

Well, well. I have been M.I.A. for a few years. Actually, I have been a P.O.W. My tale is one full of wickedness and deceit -- but none of it was done by me. It all started one fateful day when my twin brothers Tomax and Xamot came to me with a... okay, that one was for Jose. My tale actually starts in a UF classroom during a Thermodynamics lecture when I should have continued to write down notes and ignored the girl that was sitting next to me. Such a fool am I. But I will tell this tale another day. For now, I believe answering Mark's questions will provide a sufficient update.

I am single and "living the life of an angry young fool" (E-Z-O). That one was for Juan. I have no children. I do have a dog. A miniature schnauzer. Great breed. I am employed by UCF as a research administrator. I am the director of the Office of Funding Resources and work out of the Office of Research. My favorite color is midnight blue. Finally, I prefer Starcrunch to either Ho-Hos or Twinkies (see Mark's questions).

I lived in New Orleans for a few years attending Tulane University where I was finishing my Ph.D. Great place to visit but not a good place to live. I came to Orlando to do some research at the beginning of the Millenium and ended up staying when I got my current gig.

I play soccer in a five-on-five, indoor league. We were league champions last season! The pace is incredible. You net a go-ahead goal one minute and find yourself down two goals the next minute. We play twenty-minute halves in a well-run, very professional facility. Lots of English, Scottish, Brazilian, and Spanish players. We have referees, scoreboards, kits (a.k.a. uniforms for those of you that do not speak soccer), etc. It is not too expensive either. Only about $40 per season depending on how many players you have on your team.

I also play flag football in a seven-on-seven city league. We are sponsored by Adidas (local outlet store) so our uniforms are free. We were not very good our first season (4-12) but improved drastically our second season (10-6 with a playoff berth). I have implemented my Red Raider motion offense and the 4-1-2 defense. I also played in the Air-It-Out tournament. We did not place but it was fun nonetheless. If any of you are interested in playing with me let me know and I can make arrangements. Maybe we can put UPT back together!!! It is held semi-annually for one weekend. Your team is placed in a four-team division. The Saturday of the weekend, you play against your division which means you are guaranteed at least three games. The team with the best record from each division returns on Sunday for a single elimination tournament.

However, as far as my tale is concerned, this is only half of the story -- the good half.

To be continued...

Welcome New Members!

In an effort to stimulate a bit more traffic on the site, I would like to welcome two new distinguished members to the blog, Frank and Ed. I also wanted to add a new post so that the "yo quiero vomitar" photo will scroll of the main page a bit quicker. I'm getting tired of reaching for my air sickness bag each time I see it, as I'm sure the rest of you are as well.

How Do You Spell Relief?

S P U R R I E R

Vote NO on Amendment 3

Well, this is something I would normally refrain from doing. However, this issue is too important to me to just let it go. There is a proposed amendment on the Florida ballot during these elections. It is Amendment 3. This amendment is aimed at capping the attorney's fee in a medical malpractice case. It is being presented to people as an amendment that will give more money to people and less money to "greedy lawyers." That is a total misrepresentation of what this amendment will do. Here are a couple of reasons why you should vote NO on Amendment 3:

1. There is something inherently wrong with limiting the amount of money a person is allowed to earn for doing their job. If we start here, where are we going to end?

2. If Amendment 3 passes, it will not be profitable for attorneys to take these cases since they are very expensive and time-consuming to litigate.

3. If Amendment 3 passes, it will be harder for injured victims to find legal representation because attorneys will not want to become involved in costly litigation since it will not be profitable.

4. If Amendment 3 passes, victims of medical negligence will be left with little or no choice when trying to receive compensation for their injuries.

Please vote NO on Amendment 3. As for the Walrustitties issue, I haven't made up my mind yet.

Thanks.

Walrus Titties Protest

Unfortunately, due to strong protest from nowalrustitties.com, the picture has been removed from the Stu Crew site.

Added New Post Notification

Per Shidog's request, I added some extra code to indicate when new posts have been added. Under the recent posts section, whenever a new post has been added since your last visit, you'll see a little sign that says "New!" The next time you visit the site, the "New!" indicators should disappear. Enjoy!

Rock the Vote

Hey guys, go to this website: http://www.jibjab.com/
No matter which way you intend to vote, you need to see the videos here.

Vorrence Connects to the Conversation Superhighway!

Wow, you would never guess that I would have sufficient competence to successfully do this, but, with the help of my sweet lady, I have connected a mobile phone here in England!

So here is my number, should this arise...

+44 (0) 78 9191 9372

44 is the country code for the UK (or at least England). 0 is only for domestic dialing. If you are dialing from the U.S., dial 011 44 78 9191 9372, omitting the 0.

Right now, I'm sitting in a McDonald's with an internet cafe. I find that dressing up as if one is going to work helps to take things seriously -- sort of like the way an actor wears a costume to get into character. "I'm a lawyer...I'm a lawyer, not street rif-raf sitting in an internet cafe all day!" It's starting to work!

People, people everywhere! I knew there were other people in this world. There they are! Walking! On the street! Imagine, other people actually passing within 10 feet of each other. How can they stand it?

I took a cab ride yesterday morning that would have seemed like a demolition derby. Many of the streets are so narrow that only one car can pass at a time. So one car will wait behind some parallel-parked cars while the other passes by. Then the waiting car will leap into the space as soon as it's open! They seem to pass within inches of each other, doing an automotive version of the escalator ballet where people on an Underground escalator -- half the width of a U.S. escalator -- move over to the right while a stream of people shuffle through on the left. Amazing!

I wish I could embody how much excitement I feel. Each time I feel demoralized, I just look out the window of this McDonald's and gaze over the vivid red double-decker buses squatting on the bus stop beneath and then barreling down Baker Street, at the 10-foot second floor of Her Majesty's Post Office building across the street, and feel a profound motivation, mixed with just a twist of intimidation.

Too bad this McDonald's is bursting with piss-poor hip-hop-pop sounds that make the Black-Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" sound good. Oh well, you can't always get what you want; but if you try sometimes...well, you know what I mean.

My thoughts go out to the homies and to Moms and Pops who are scouting the Amalfi coast!

Hope you are all well! As soon as I get a yobby-yob, the City of Westminster will be open for some serious business by the fools from Lake City!

Juan

P.S. I'm sending a copy of this message to stucrew.com...

Happy Halloween

Hey, all. Check out this website. http://s90253586.onlinehome.us/classic_auto_1.mpeg It's got a neat commercial. Make sure you turn the volume up so the soothing music plays. It adds to the experience. Love you all. -SHIDOG

Michael Jackson's Dog

I had totally forgotten about this. I happen to come across it and had to share it with everyone. Still made me laugh.

Make a New Post Link Added

Per Grownzup's request, I added a link on the page to create a new post. Now all you have to do is just click the link instead of doing it from the Blogger dashboard. Enjoy!

Camping Trip?

I've gotten wind that there's a camping trip on the horizon. Where shall it be? Who shall be there? When will it take place? I know not. Dost thou knowest?

Comment Notification Added

Okay, I've written some custom code to notify you when there are new comments. Pretty cool stuff. I think I'm actually going to submit the code to Blogger as a Blogger Hack. If you click on all of the links to expand the comments, then the next time you load the page, it will not give the new comments message. The next time you visit the page and comments have been added, the page will let you know. Neato! I'm such a geek.

Happy Colon Day

Howdy y'all. How bout we sing & shout for our favorite day of all? Colon day. Colon day. Makes me tingle all the way. Even though I'm workin', I can't help but feel that this country was a steal. If it wasn't for Mr. Colon, would we even know the meaning of "stolen?" Well, my creative juices just stopped flowin', so I better get goin'. I hope y'all have a wonderful Cristobal Colon day, and viva Le Stu Crew!!

Some news from Vorrence

The UK is totally motherbitchin', and I am enjoying the hell out of it. Here's a little update.

First of all, it's frickin' freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth. The English summer has waned, and the autumn is beginning to rest its cold hands on my cheeks. There is still some sun, which is nice, and should be just enough to hold me over until June 2005, when I next see it. Still, I must admit that there's something kind of cozy about wearing a coat all the time.

Regarding culture shock, a fortuitous event has actually facilitated a smooth transition into the English lifestyle. Last night, the motion picture "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey" was broadcast on television. Excellent! . Man, I guess I forget just how fantastic those films were. Moreover, I had only seen the first one.

London is as bustling as ever, and I'm enjoying the hell out of wandering about. Here is a little Q and A with MYSELF to fill you in:

Question: Have I been to the pub yet?
Answer: Yes, about four different ones so far.

Question: What is the most beatiful sight you have seen so far?
Answer: The Underground, mang. Who cares if there are no trash can's in the entire system because of IRA bombings past, that's just pure excitement every single time. The idea that you can walk down a flight of stairs in the middle of town and come back up anywhere on the map has far too much appeal for anyone of the video game generation to resist.

Question: Have you seen people that are weird or perhaps nuts?
Answer: Not really. There was this one really old Irish dude in a pub called "Bradley's Spanish Pub" (marvelous in and of itself) that started dancing to a jukebox recording of some motown song in the middle of the really crowded room with a catatonic smile affixed to his face. Okay, it now occurs to me that that was awesome!

Question: Weekend highlight?
Answer: Went to see the Santa Barbara band Sugarcult. It was the all-ages show, so the place was crowded with teenagers. Sound creepy? Well, it certainly was not, because I fit right in! I wasn't the only guy who was thirteen years old. And to top it off, I have not been asked for "ID" yet!

Well, I'd better get on with it. Best regards to all the homies in the U.S. of A. England and I await you all.

Juan"Wrinse"

How to propogate to the stucrew plus new members

Hey, dudes and dudettes on stucrew.com. How do we make sure everyone in the "stucrew plus new" gets invites? We've got lots of other folks on the list like the Vargas Bros., the Gloria and Patty plus the Pauls. Howzabout the David Cortes and the Johns? Hmmm. How do we get involvement from the people? That's a question I find myself asking ... myself all the time. Hmmmm.

stucrew.com Domain Purchased

I bought stucrew.com from GoDaddy for a mere $8.95! It seems like it may be propagating quickly, because I've already been able to connect to the domain. In a few days it should be accessible across the globe.

The Stu Crew Website is Born!

Well, Juan is leaving for the U.K. this evening. I decided to create this blog so he can keep us informed on what is going on in his life. It will also be a good way for the rest of us to keep in touch too.