Thursday, October 14, 2004

Vorrence Connects to the Conversation Superhighway!

Wow, you would never guess that I would have sufficient competence to successfully do this, but, with the help of my sweet lady, I have connected a mobile phone here in England!

So here is my number, should this arise...

+44 (0) 78 9191 9372

44 is the country code for the UK (or at least England). 0 is only for domestic dialing. If you are dialing from the U.S., dial 011 44 78 9191 9372, omitting the 0.

Right now, I'm sitting in a McDonald's with an internet cafe. I find that dressing up as if one is going to work helps to take things seriously -- sort of like the way an actor wears a costume to get into character. "I'm a lawyer...I'm a lawyer, not street rif-raf sitting in an internet cafe all day!" It's starting to work!

People, people everywhere! I knew there were other people in this world. There they are! Walking! On the street! Imagine, other people actually passing within 10 feet of each other. How can they stand it?

I took a cab ride yesterday morning that would have seemed like a demolition derby. Many of the streets are so narrow that only one car can pass at a time. So one car will wait behind some parallel-parked cars while the other passes by. Then the waiting car will leap into the space as soon as it's open! They seem to pass within inches of each other, doing an automotive version of the escalator ballet where people on an Underground escalator -- half the width of a U.S. escalator -- move over to the right while a stream of people shuffle through on the left. Amazing!

I wish I could embody how much excitement I feel. Each time I feel demoralized, I just look out the window of this McDonald's and gaze over the vivid red double-decker buses squatting on the bus stop beneath and then barreling down Baker Street, at the 10-foot second floor of Her Majesty's Post Office building across the street, and feel a profound motivation, mixed with just a twist of intimidation.

Too bad this McDonald's is bursting with piss-poor hip-hop-pop sounds that make the Black-Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" sound good. Oh well, you can't always get what you want; but if you try sometimes...well, you know what I mean.

My thoughts go out to the homies and to Moms and Pops who are scouting the Amalfi coast!

Hope you are all well! As soon as I get a yobby-yob, the City of Westminster will be open for some serious business by the fools from Lake City!

Juan

P.S. I'm sending a copy of this message to stucrew.com...


2 comments:

GeekLad said...

Hey mang, great to hear from you! Sounds like you're having a great time. Keep up the excellent updates!

Grownz said...

Man, Johnny Bourbon. We miss you. It sounds like you're all Mary Tyler Mooreing it over there without us. Here's a few basic rules to remember:

1. Don't accept candy from strangers
2. Don't accept drugs from strangers
3. Don't accept cocaine from Rick James cus he's dead.

Well, teach them blimeys who's the boss other than Tony Danza. Later.